Well, today is Day 5 and I'm doing good.  I've been able to stick to my calorie goals and have forced myself to work out each day.  I admit that I don't like to exercise.  I make myself do it, but it would be easy for me to stop.  My solution is to schedule a day off of exercising once per week.  Wednesday is a long work day for me and I know I won't feel like working out, so I'm going to be taking Wednesday's as rest days from the treadmill.  Now every time I think "Oh God, I don't want to work out today," I can just think ahead to my day off and drudge through it.  That's what I do with work when I just don't want to go in; I keep thinking about the weekend and then it's not so bad!  So hopefully it will work with exercise, too.  The calorie counting is getting easier as I go along.  The first couple of days I was hungry and wishing I could eat a brownie or something, but now I feel more in control of my cravings.  I'm slowly starting to learn to trust myself around food!  The awesome part is that this morning I weighed in and I'm down to 257.  That's a loss of 4 pounds in only 5 days!  Very cool.  Another great side effect from eating healthier is that my skin looks better.  No more little blemishes on my face!  Well, I need to get in the car and start my morning commute to work.  Have a great day everyone!   

I'm on day number 3 of my weight loss journey today.  So far, so good!  I've worked out every day on my treadmill since day one.  I have eaten healthier foods and have stayed within my calorie range each day.  I know I've only been doing this for 3 days, but I already feel a lot better!  I feel happier, more beautiful, and more confident in myself.  Maybe it's the fact that I truly feel like this is the real deal this time; I'm actually going to lose this weight and get healthy.  Just having that knowledge is making me very happy.  As an added bonus, I stepped on the scale this morning and I'm down to 259 pounds from 261 pounds.  Yay!!!  That confirms that my work is paying off and I'm moving in the right direction.   

How many "Day 1's" have I had now?  Hmmmmmm... quite a few!  More than I can even keep track of.  I have been thinking seriously about weight loss for the past few weeks, so much so that I have even been dreaming about it.  I've come to a realization; the only thing that is going to make this "Day 1" any different from the ones from the past is my actions.  If I don't actually eat healthy and exercise every day, then this time will be no different from the countless other times I've tried to lose weight and failed.  I have to embrace my desire to succeed and trust myself to do so.  I have to say that right now I don't trust myself to stick with this.  I have tried to lose weight so many times before and sabotaged my own efforts every time, so I don't know how strong my resolve really is.  This morning I woke up and the first thing my little inner voice was telling me to do was to go to the kitchen and eat left over pizza.  I just rolled my eyes at myself and walked away from the kitchen.  I sat in the living room for half an hour telling myself that I'm not going to ruin this attempt just because I want some pizza.  I didn't trust myself to go near the kitchen because I really want to lose weight this time and I didn't think I would stick with the plan.  I think that really says something about the inner conflict that I have going on within me.  It's obviously something that I need to work on in order for me to succeed!  Anyway, I was sitting there all worried and depressed because I wanted pizza but I didn't want to eat the pizza and I was only just beginning my first day of this weight loss journey and it's already so hard.  And then it dawned on me... Hello!  I'm in charge.  Not my inner voice, but ME.  My inner, self hating, diet sabotaging voice can just go to Hell!  I got up, went into the kitchen and made myself a healthy strawberry lime smoothie.  I wrote down the recipe in my little kitchen journal, calculated the calories and recorded it as my breakfast for the day.  It was yummy, I didn't eat the damn pizza, and I still live to tell about it.  So there!  I can do this and I will do this.  Sorry for the rambling self pep talk, but I had to get it all out!  So this is my Day 1, and this time, it's going to be the last first day of my weight loss journey.  This truly is the first day of the rest of my life!            

2008's New Years Resolution to lose weight wasn't kept.  I actually gained weight after a failed attempt at the low carb diet.  I initially lost about 16 pounds, but then I got off track and never got back on.  The weight has since returned with interest.  I now weigh around 260 pounds.  I'm not making a New Years Resolution to lose weight in 2009.  I'm just going to do it.  No matter how long it takes.  No more games.  No more excuses.  If I want results, I realize that I have to make some changes.  I bought a treadmill and made it the focal point in my living room so that I have a dramatic reminder to exercise.  I'm not going to follow any specific diet, but instead I am going to watch my calories and stop eating "bad" carbs and junk food.  I am replacing my sugary snacks with fruit and veggies, and am replacing my McDonald's to go bag with home cooked meals.  This is going to be tough for me, but I know it will be worth it when I can slide into a pair of size 6 jeans!